In The Black Box

THIS IS THE NIGHT TIME, MY TIME OF UTTER CONFUSION AND CLARITY

Archive for September 2009

So you wont know…

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….’till you take your head out and sort the mess.

I have been floating around the target for days now… application to the important things perhaps and thats fantastic, but there are still obligations. Some things are seamless.. you don’t know where one thing starts and the other ends. But now i know that there must be structure to most things in order for them to work the way you want. Perhaps a compromise will make the goal easier to reach… I may want one thing… but i wont have that opportunity until i try another thing.. and now it seems like a mess. Perhaps because it is all slower, perhaps because it is all up in the air and i don’t know what i am doing exactly. I have all the tools sitting there and looking at me.. but i fail to apply what is needed… as if my body has given up.

Put the pieces together and sort it out, its that simple.

So lets sort it out – right here and now… what is there to consider..

The Life – and all Six parts of it…

The Book – and the hours that must be committed

The Occupation – And the Deadlines

The Airwaves – That open my eyes

The Words – To which this will go a long way

The Noises – that are everywhere and i am missing at every opportunity

The New Music – that has a new face, one that i have yet to say hello to

The Images – That forever will be lost

The Old Music – That feeds the veins

And i wonder if it is at all possible… we will knock off one in three short weeks.. the others as time passes.. but there is nothing stopping the on going practice… the ongoing ideals and ideas.

Dont listen to them, this time its just you – it’s just you, and you have to do it…. you have to sort out the mess – This is where you like to be.

In the black – between lightbulbs that shine on nothing within your walls.. blank canvas – double guarded.. not obliged to be or do anything – let loose and free to be free. They say it is inferior – they say they are superior… what they dont understand is the liberation of it all – no longer involved in it.. it doesn’t matter who you know and what you said and did with who and where.. its not about this or that event any more… its not about the involvement, it’s not about that time we will meet…

… it’s just a number between 1 and 100.  Its just another percentage, just another average, just another one.

It’s not the difference you will point out.

And why did it start here? Why in this way, so subtle.. i returned to this, left it for so long and wondered why it had not reared it’s head before.. and i am thankful for what i have.. and the 13 that i never even noticed coming and going. The other 12 had seemed so substantial… but now its just another number… and i rejoice in reaching the point when it is just another number before 24….36….48…. and whenever else…

There is nothing better.. and smiles will shine from the black, as i dip my head in different waves, some older and some more contemporary. This is not just about the best new vibrations any more… must take time to sort it out and lift the roof up higher.

Expansion… development… enhance and perfect. .. perfect… and be proud.

Written by Dave

September 30, 2009 at 1:36 AM

Here goes another one…

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… it’s tough figuring out what that little thing is that is missing. You put together everything to the very best of your ability.. you try and try… yet working out the bits that missing.. the bit that will transform everything.. because as far as you are concerned there is nothing better, nothing that can match it.

What is worse is the noises you hear.. noises that sound just as good if not worse. .. if not better.. And you can’t understand why.

No you don’t want to have to be their friends… you dont want to have to know him or her… you don’t want to have to be “in”..  and if that is what’s missing then i will let the party come to me because that pole isn’t going to be sucked any time soon.

Then there is the long hours.. the worry.. the little things.. the wants.. the wants that become needs.. the needs that just wont give up.. and then you are in a bind. And the more you listen the weaker it becomes.. the weaker you become.. the less you believe.. and you look at them, and hear them and wonder what the fuck they did… and you try harder.

Like everything, it’s a big ol’ circle, but we knew that from the start.. and if you are the only statistic on a page… if you remain to be just the number  then it helps.. because it all starts with just a number… and we feel its only a second away.. 10,000… and we never see it coming.. post it somewhere.. and the world passes by the billboard… give that a go… drop it … let it work a little … let it work a little.

Then it’s just a circle.. because with one there will be others.. its turning and you are just trying to hop on the right carriage.

Written by Dave

September 13, 2009 at 2:48 AM